I had been on this one dating website, OkCupid, off and on for a few years. I had equally bad luck there as anywhere else. I had just been broken up up with by a guy I had been seeing for a few weeks. It was a relief because then I didn’t have to breakup with him.
The first email I got was a compliment on my tattoos. We emailed all day that first day and then met 4 days later. I was slightly apprehensive, as always when meeting someone new. Online chemistry is not always chemistry in real life. He was bigger than I thought he would be, quiet, with a nice smile. I babbled on like I do when I’m nervous and he mostly just nodded and smiled. I liked him though. I invited him to my game the following night and he came. My home team won the championship that night so I was in a pretty good mood. He met most of my derby friends and at the end of the night, he won me a pink dinosaur out of the claw machine. It still sits on my nightstand.
Our first real date was a Naturals game. I didn’t dress warmly enough and he let me wear his button up shirt. I don’t remember details of when we started spending every day together but I knew that this one was different.
I was in denial about being in love with him for awhile. A month after we met, at my niece’s birthday party, her grandmother asked me about him. I said I was sliding down the slope but digging in my heels.
We occasionally (frequently) talked about our hypothetical future life- the things we would like to do later in our life, things I will not allow him to name our children, how our families would interact.
Sometimes I did (and do) wonder how I got so lucky. I know I’m not easy to handle but I think maybe I’m not as bad as I’ve let myself think I am. I deserve to be happy. I deserve someone wonderful. And he agrees.