- 5 months ago
- 1,937 notes
We really did it. The wedding went off pretty much without a hitch. I ended up having to give up total control in order to not make myself and everyone else crazy. Thankfully my awesome husband and my “day of” coordinator where completely up the challenge and are a large part of the reason I had a great day.
It’s hard to pretend I’m not a real adult anymore. I mean I’ve been one for years- paying bills, holding down a full time job, etc. but getting married is a very “grown-up” thing to me. That being said, I don’t feel unprepared. The Mr. is the best thing I never knew I needed and I think we’ll have a pretty fantastic life together. There’s not always much in my life I’m sure about, but I’m sure about that.
- 6 months ago
- 0 notes
In less than 30 days, I will officially become Mrs. Ian Ferguson. Though I’ve definitely always wanted children, and I thought about getting married, I can truthfully say I really didn’t think it would ever happen for me. Enter the Mr. I truly can’t imagine a more perfect person for me. Our personalities compliment each other. He helps bring me back from the edge as I drag him a little closer to it.
Our goal is for our wedding to be a big party, to share our love for each other with the people we love and who love us. I think we’re well on the way to making that happen. I could be more stressed out about the few details I haven’t done yet and many people are surprised that I’m not. My nature is not easy going nor am I am the type of person who can “let go”. But I’ve never been more sure ever in my life about the rightness of the something as I am about marrying this wonderful man. Everything else, the dress, the wedding, family, friends, is just icing on the cake. I already have my prize.
- 8 months ago
- 0 notes
I haven’t written anything in months. It’s not that I don’t have any anything to say. Just nothing nice really. I think some of the things would hurt the feelings of some of the people in my life and it’s easier just to keep it bottled up instead of dealing with the fallout because quite frankly I can’t handle much more stress in my life right now.
- 9 months ago
- 0 notes
“There was one girl in our school whose mother made her wear a clothespin on her nose to make it thin. There were quite a few girls who tried to bleach their skin white with bleaching cream and who got pimples instead. And, of course, we went to the beauty parlor and got our hair straightened. I couldn’t wait to go to the beauty parlor and get my hair all fried up. I wanted Shirley Temple curls just like Shirley Temple. I hated the smell of fried hair and having my ears burned, but we were taught that women had to make great sacrifices to be beautiful. And everybody knew you had to be crazy to walk the streets with nappy hair sticking out. And of course long hair was better than short hair. We all knew that.
We had been completely brainwashed and we didn’t even know it. We accepted white value systems and white standards of beauty and, at times, we accepted the white man’s view of ourselves. We had never been exposed to any other point of view or any other standard of beauty. From when I was a tot, I can remember black people saying, “Niggas aint shit.” “You know how lazy niggas are.” “Give a nigga an inch and he’ll take a mile.” Everybody knew what “niggas” like to do after they eat: sleep. Everybody knew that “niggas” couldn’t be on time; that’s why there was c.p.t. (colored people’s time). “Niggas don’t take care of nothing.” “Niggas don’t stick together.” The list could go on.
To varying degrees we accepted these statements as true. And, to varying degrees, we each made them true within ourselves because we believed them.”"
Assata Shakur (via daughterofzami)
“but we were taught that women had to make great sacrifices to be beautiful…”
- 1 year ago
- 1,015 notes
Like most black women, I have had a complicated relationship with my hair for most of my life. My hair is been styled in so many ways, thankfully most of them in the 90’s before camera phones and digital cameras were as a common to catch any of my bad decisions. I have shaved my head, permed my hair, had various types of extensions, dreadlocks, and currently it’s natural.
When I was a small child, I don’t remember caring about it much other than preferring my aunt over my grandmother to braid my hair because I was super tender headed and my grandmother braided too tight. I was cured of my tender headed-ness by a hairdresser I had after we moved to AR. Talk about a tight braid! I discovered years later that she never knew I was tender headed, otherwise she would have gone easier on me.
My hair has never grown very quickly and my own hair has never been longer than shoulder length (when I had dreadlocks). Otherwise it’s usually bob length. Most of my problem is that my hair grows pretty slowly and I also have breakage issues. All I have ever wanted is my hair to be long enough to put in a ponytail without having to use booby pins or hair clips to keep it all up.
While I long for longer hair, I also like to change my hair pretty frequently. The longest I had ever had a single hairstyle or cut is when I had dreadlocks. That lasted 6 years. In addition to my many hairstyles, I have dyed my hair most of the colors in the rainbow, starting when I was 11. My natural hair color is a dark brown though I’ve been dying it black for the last few years.
I have been really struggling lately not to significantly change my hair. My current goal is to wait until after I get married in October. I really want some waist length box braids but that’s expensive and since we’re mostly paying for the wedding ourselves, it’s a non necessary expense that I just can’t justify. My other thought it to cut my hair- short on the sides and longish on top. I think it would be a little easier to manage and since it would an actual hairstyle, theoretically easier to maintain. Or I may give myself up to the mercy of a hairdresser.
I’ll keep collecting ideas but for now, it’s just daydreaming until October.
- 1 year ago
- 0 notes